Ok so I need to get this off my mind. Probably won't be completely off but off enough that maybe I can calm down and rest again. I had an awful dream. This seems to be my go to place when I have intense dreams so here goes.
I was talking on the phone with Ugo and he was being very quiet and serious. He told me he was going to die the next day and he was totally convinced of it. He wanted to tell me that this was the last day I'd talk to him and not to call him back because it would only make it harder for me. He told me not to ask any questions about it. He did most of the talking, I was just kind of shocked and confused. He wouldn't tell me why he thought this and wouldn't explain anything. He just kept saying that it was gonna happen. I kept stalling and trying to keep him on the phone. He mentioned something about something happening when he went out with friends on Saturday, but I couldn't catch exactly what he was saying. It was never clear in the dream. We finally got off the phone and I just sat there dazed. I wanted to respect his wishes and thought about not calling him but then I started to get angry. I called him back and it kept ringing. He wouldn't pick up. Then finally he did but the connection, or he, was even quieter than before. I said I had a question. He kept saying that I didn't want to ask and it would make it harder. I had to ask. I was scared and angry. So I yelled at him and said, "I'm your wife! I have a right to know!" Behind my yelling he mentioned the Saturday thing again. I could barely hear him. When I said, "What?" he replied, "Didn't you hear me about what happened Saturday when I was hanging out?" I said "No, you didn't tell me, you wouldn't!" He wanted me to know, yet it seemed that he didn't and it was clear he wanted me to get off the phone. I was hurt and angry and yelled again that I just wanted to ask him one question. I said, "What has you so convinced that you're gonna die!?" But no answer, no answer at all. I don't know if we got cut off or he hung up but that was it. And at that point I was coming out of the dream but still trying to hold onto it for an answer from him.
It was an awful feeling. But Praise God that Ugo didn't get up quite yet for church and I was able to text him and then he called me. I had to hear from him that he was ok. Although I felt like he was a little nonchalant about it. But that may have been a little residual anger from the dream :( ugh. This sucks. I don't need these deep, completely convincing and realistic dreams! :( Leave me alone and let me sleep in peace.
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